The readings from Warriors Don’t Cry have been retrieved from Charlotte Perkins. The writer seeks to understand the purpose of a family and how a family system works. The author explains how a family works as a unit, each member of a family is important in making up the unit. The discussion introduces the importance of marriage in the society, its significance in the marriage and the wider society. The children are a part of the family; the discussion probes their relationships in the family.
The family being a wider group has relationships, these relationships could have a positive or negative effect in strengthening a family, authors lay emphasize on the support and strength of family relationships. The issue of family responsibilities is quite debatable. Each family member has different responsibility from one another. This discussion seeks to answer why these responsibilities vary among family members. In every family, there exists authority, this gives orderliness and ensures low indiscipline. In some families, authority rests on the mother, others on the father and more families both parents are in charge of authority.
Parents have different ways of expressing authority, some believe in exercising authority through kindness, love, bribery, bureaucracy, friendship reasoning and swaggering. Every parent should be aware of the effects of authority in their children.
Interconnection is important in a family system, every family should be aware of the interconnection in order for the family to work as a system. For a family to be united each member should be interdependent. When a family is experiencing a situation, it is believed that the cause is circular, rather than pointing to one person. For instance, if a member of a family is undergoing a problem, a counselor analyzes the situation from the patterns of the interrelationships in the family (Harry, 2008).
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The looks into the family system, regulates the family systems, to improve the interrelationships. This leads to the whole family functioning as a whole. A family system is viewed as a vehicle, where each part depends on the other for functioning. In case a part of a vehicle is adjusted, and then all the other parts of the vehicle have to be adjusted for the vehicle to perform. This perspective is normally applied to the families dealing with stubborn children (Branson,1998). Communication in the family can be verbal or non verbal. A family comes into conflict more often due to non verbal communication (Edward, 2010). For instance, a child expects something from a parent, yet the parent does not attend to the need, this leads to frustrations. Therefore, members of a family should be aware of their roles. This will build the family relationships.
Family interaction with children is very important. According to the research, a child builds relationships since infancy. The child attachment with a mother has a lasting effect in a child’s brain, up to adulthood. This relationship shapes a child’s self esteem, maintaining relationships with others and has an influence on what a child expects from other people. Research indicates that people, who are emotionally strained during childhood, grow to be difficult adults. Most often, they do not understand the feelings of other people. This difficulty leads to an individual’s problem in maintaining relationships. From early childhood the relationship between a caregiver and a child should be healthy. A healthy relationship determines the success of an intimate relationship in future. A relationship contributes to controlling of emotions (Pierre, 1998).
A good relationship from infancy, guides a child in interacting with people out of family circle. When a child has good family relation, it becomes easier for the child to cope with disappointments and discouragement. Family interactions with children become successful if both sense the emotions of one another. Children feel secure when the family responds to their needs. Insecurity in children occurs when the children are emotional and physically neglected. If children are separated from their caregivers they develop a feeling of insecurity. Children who suffer from sexual abuse have a high feeling of insecurity. Poor communication in the family means insecurity for the children. According to Edward (2010), adults who have good relationships, have the ability to manage stress, contain their emotions and communicate well and they do not hold grudges. This is said to emanate from childhood. A successful relationship leads to a good love relationship, eventually a good marriage. Blob says in his writing that many marriages are breaking due to the poor relationship from childhood (Robertson, 2008).
If relationships have a mutual understanding of emotions, love relationships become successful. In love relationship play is helpful in harnessing a relationship. In case a conflict arises, it can be approached without fear, this leads to more trust in the relationship. The society expects that every mother and father are to bring up children in a responsible manner. Bringing up children is a critical task. It involves authority to ensure orderliness. Every child should be able to sense authority from a parent. The obedience in children is viewed as a parents’ lack of authority. Parents often think that authority is within a parent, this is a mistake. Authority is mainly acquired in every family. A parent should exercise the authority to achieve certain goals. When a parent exercises authority for obedience sake, children tend to be obedient but very weak in other social areas.
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Authority could be suppressing to a family. For instance, when a father exercises authority angrily, he causes fear and intimidation among family members. This authority separates children from their father. The children become cowards, cruel and liars. Authority in the family becomes aloof, when the parents believe obedience comes in by keeping a distance from the children. For instance, a father communicates everything through the mother. The mother communicates to the children through a caregiver. This authority becomes useless to a family, often it brings about irrationality in organization. Authority becomes harmful when each parent wants to prove to the children that he or she is important than the other. This brings about children who brag about a particular parent. A separation occurs in the family and in the society. Authority could also be bureaucratic, this is where the parents make the laws which the children have to follow. There is no room for contribution from the children. This affects the children negatively, for these children exciting life experiences are hardly noticed.
The children are only concerned with the laws in the family. There are parents who believe that reasoning with a child is a better way of communicating. They give the children long speeches and talks with the children. In reality children are often bored and loose concentration. They do not think like adults. There are parents who exercise authority by sowing love to their children. Such parents believe that children can only obey if they love their parents. This is harmful to the children when interacting with the outside world. There are parents who believe that authority can be exercised through kindness, friendship and bribery (Mathew & David, 2007).
The authors have carefully analyzed the family and its role in the society. It is clear that a family works as a system. Every member of a family has a responsibility in ensuring that the family works as a system. From the discussion marriage is important in the society. It helps a child to grow up in a close-knit family. This instills a sense of security in a child. For a marriage to be successful all the partners should have clear goals. Communication should be a major ingredient in a successful marriage. Respect should be mutual. In every marriage conflicts should be solved rather than be avoided. From infancy, children develop relationships with their parents or caregivers. The way a child is brought up, influences its behavior in adulthood. A child communicates none verbally, every parent should be aware of a child’s communication to avoid disappointments.
Family relationships play a significant role in supporting a child emotionally. A child’s feeling of security emanates from family relationships. Authority in the family determines the character of a child. Every family requires authority. It is upon the parents to ensure that they dispense real authority to their children without causing harm. The parents should be aware of their children’s behavior. The parents should as well know their responsibility in exercising authority.