Currently, the communication between people of the opposite sex is much easier than it was 200 years ago due to the advancement in technology. The internet is one of the avenues that teens use as a dating platform. Most situations where couples progress from chatting to a romance end as fake or temporary love. After a while the romance dies and they split up. If any children had been conceived they end up fatherless. The progression of the world into a fast-paced economy has also led to the mushrooming of sperm donor clinics. Women have a chance of conceiving without engaging in relations with men, using donor sperm. In cases like this, the donor is protected and is kept unknown to the woman and resulting child. Sperm donation has continued to grow leading to the birth of many fatherless children. In cases like this, most mothers’ assume that lying to kids about their bio-fathers is better than telling the truth; however, others believe that children have the right to know their father.
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If the father is a drug dealer or goes to jail very often, the mother usually doesn’t tell her children about their bio-father in an effort to protect them. In addition, some women feel like lying to their children about their fathers is better than exposing them to the reality of their father’s whereabouts. Some women may not want to tell their children about their conception through sperm donation. This is because the mothers may not feel free enough to discuss the process with their children yet. A mother may result to faking a story about a child’s conception to protect the child from ridicule from other children in school. Some children may be bullied and called freaks if it was discovered they were conceived through sperm donation. When children ask about their father, the mother may make up a story about him, feigning even death in some cases. In addition to that, she also might talk about how bad their father is so that her children start to hate him and never ask about him. Perhaps, her hates could transfer to her children and she tries to show them that she is by their side. Other reason of lying is that mother tries very hard to teach her children a good education and behavior to make them feel proud of themselves. If the dad is only a piece of crap, then the mother doesn’t want his history affects her children’s future. With this in mind, no one can blame mothers for doing all of that just for children’s benefits.
On the other hand of the issue, as we all know that lies don’t remain forever and there will come the day when other people tell the child about his real father. The mother should be more honest with her child or the relationship between them would change from better to worse. Even if the father was a criminal his children have to know him and decide whether to live with him or not. She also must not put her child in a position where he doesn’t have the answer to his friends who asking him about his father. Children need to know where they come from or that might affect their confidence on themselves. Furthermore, when the mother takes the challenging step and tells her child about his real dad it is easy for them to accept it in the beginning. For example, some mothers just keep the secret for very long time and suddenly someone in the street identifies their bio-father. Sadly, the child will be mad at his mother and maybe won’t believe on whatever she says in normal life. Importantly, in this specific situation the mother should not hide the truth about the real father because the children need to deal it in their life by themselves.
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The mother is responsible for telling her kids about their real father before they figure out from other people. Personally, I think that children should have the right to know who their father is in whatever conditions. Most importantly, children might notice that their mother lying to them for the reason that she does not see him back. She has to be more open with her children and needs to sit and talk with them about their real father. However, the question that should be asked before opening the conversation with them is what is the right age for the child to know the truth? It could be around 10 years or whenever she feels that the child is old enough to face the truth. Nobody can expect what will happen if the child knows his real father maybe the child can get his parents back together and let his father to fix his mistakes.
Another huge problem arise if the child’s father was a sperm donor, it becomes a huge challenge for the mother has to explain that she went to a fertility clinic so as to conceive the child. In a lot of sperm bank centers, a child can only learn about the detailed information of their father who was a donor once they reach the age of 18 (Plotz, 23). The information that this centers can provide include the telephone number, the number for the driver’s license, name, the date of birth and their address. But the child will have been denied the right to know their father for 18 years.
Also in most sperm bank centers there arises a problem as about 30 percent of donors remain anonymous; therefore 70 percent agree to give out their details (Crocklin, 17). The child may be at risk of never having a chance to meet their father if the father chooses to be anonymous. This is a huge challenge to the mother if the child wishes to know their father and the mother is not in a position to provide answers, it can affect relations with the child. Lawson issue of sperm donors exempt donor fathers from any financial responsibilities, this can be of a challenge to the child if they require financial assistance and there is nothing they can get from their father as they are exempted by the law.
The importance of both parents in the lives of a child cannot be ignored. More and more cases of people seeking their biological parents are being recorded by day. This only goes to demonstrate the importance for a person to have the closure on the identity of their biological parents. Whether the child and the parent click and decide to form a relationship or not is entirely up to them. It is not fair to assume that all those searching for their biological parents are in it for the money. In reality, the majority of those searching for their biological parents are not doing so in the prospects of having any monetary gains.
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